my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize
