i just wanna soil my oats bro
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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