margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
