Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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