he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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