He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
