did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
