where am i from again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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