You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
God, you're like boner-b-gone
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize