You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
