awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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