all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
