I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize