How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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