Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
