Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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