her facebook's as public as her vagina
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
