remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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