Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
