Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
