remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
