he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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