Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
