You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize