Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am available for nakedness
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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