Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
