i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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