I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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