this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
