I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
