Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
