I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
