Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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