you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
