thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
