I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We are all done wearing pants today
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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