I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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