It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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