This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
