problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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