it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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