I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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