marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
