you mean i was at the winter classic?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
