normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
