i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
