margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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