Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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