whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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