I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
