Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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