dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
