Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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