Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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