clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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