ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
