Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
