So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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