Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
