Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Drake has all the answers
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
